Rob Alexander-Adams tells The Theatre Playbook about linking up with the cast and crew of F***ing Men, Joe DiPietro’s play that has returned to London for a six-week run at Waterloo East Theatre.
Joe DiPietro’s play F***ing Men enjoyed sold out runs in 2023 and 2024. Now the production is back on the London stage at Waterloo East Theatre.
A modern retelling of Schnitzler’s infamous classic La Ronde, F**king Men is described as a fascinating, funny, and provocative story of sex, love, and connection. This dramatic comedy follows 10 men through a series of erotic encounters that change their lives in small but significant ways.
Directed by Steven Kunis, it is a sharp and insightful look at the experiences of modern gay men as they navigate their conflicting desires for the comfort of monogamous love and the thrill of sexual freedom.
The cast is led by Rob Alexander-Adams (Leo and Donald), with Peter Caulfield (Steve, Brandon, and Jack), Benedict Clarke (John, Kyle, and Ryan) and Sven Ironside (Marco and Sammy).
The crew includes lighting designer Alex Lewer, set & costume designer Cara Evans, composer & sound designer Julian Starr, movement & intimacy director Lee Crowley and voice & accent coach Amanda Stephens.
Here, Alexander-Adams tells The Theatre Playbook about signing up for the production, the challenge of playing dual roles and his experience working with an intimacy coordinator for the show.
Hi Rob, please introduce us to F***ing Men.
Rob Alexander-Adams: It’s a fabulous play written by Joe DiPietro and encompasses the world of a variety of gay men and their struggles with relationships to each other and the wider world. Any more would reveal too much, you need to come and see it!
Credit – Michaela Walshe
You play two characters, Leo and Donald. Who are they and how do they fit into the story?
Leo is an English teacher married to Jack who works in the heady world of high finance. They, much to Leo’s reluctance, have entered into an open relationship and we first see Leo arriving at the dorm room of a young college student and then…
Donald is a journalist of some repute who has built this massive career as a TV reporter, married to Francis but has had a gay lover for many years who recently passed away. The narrative arc here is Donald’s justification for remaining in the closet when confronted by Brandon, a famous English actor who wants to ‘come out’ on Donald’s show.
What can you tell us about how the story plays out?
Well, I’m going to pause before the classic ‘Scooby Doo’ mask reveal and advise you all to book and get on down to see exactly how the story plays out. So nada, zip from me on that question!
Did you know the play? What were your first thoughts when you read the script?
I’d never heard of the play until the email from my agent arrived and then of course I did my internet research. That’s an interesting title to enter into the search engine, I can tell you! I loved the script and the world of these characters, the level of intimacy didn’t phase me, I’m too old for that and spent several years life modelling at art schools to worry about anyone seeing bits and pieces. There is nuance and a real push-pull in the world of these men and discussions in rehearsals have always highlighted the importance of this and none of the work has fallen into an expositional treatise, which can easily happen when working on a script. Steven (Kunis) is a wonderful director and so supportive and clear in his approach. We’ve had a lot of fun working on this.
And how did you join the production?
As often happens, audition, recalled (which I didn’t expect) and then offered on the same day. That’s the world of an actor. I feel privileged to have been asked/cast. I’m returning to the acting world after 25 years of teaching drama and so there is quite a bit of ‘imposter’ baggage to get through and I’m like a sponge, soaking up all the experiences that comes my way.
What can you reveal about the practicalities of you and your co-stars each playing multiple roles?
Now we’ve opened there is the obvious practicalities of not bumping into each other as we change and prep for the next scene – and obviously the ridiculous demands of our backstage ‘riders’! Sven is very partial to Orange Tic Tacs, for example, whilst the rest of us are stuck with mint. Ben and Peter both have a vocal crib sheet to remind themselves of accent/role before they enter the stage space. There is a lovely warmth to the process and absolutely no ego. It’s a great company to be part of.
How do you get into character for each role, and then switch between them?
For me it’s buzz words, which may be linked to their work or life or even an object they associate themselves with. The Uta Hagen exercise, where you visualise what has occurred a few minutes before you enter the stage space, assists with entering the mindset of the role. Vocally too, our voice coach, Amanda Stephens-Lee, has been fantastic in assisting us in developing the necessary approach that enables us to bring these characters to life.
How have you worked with the intimacy coordinator for the show?
Lee [Crowley] has been fabulous. From the outset allaying any fears we had around the physical approach and building the process slowly and methodically. So much of the physical content is set to a rhythm, so we started with building up the movements until we were all comfortable with what we’re doing. It’s also got to look right, so seamlessly developing the movements into an organic moment has been a challenge but Lee is always assisting and checking in with us. We all feel very comfortable with the process.
What challenges did you face in preparation for the show’s debut?
Two things spring to mind. As a returning actor, it’s been ‘Can I return the faith shown in me?’ That’s been a slight concern but one I hope has been dealt with as it’s about how we/I tell the story effectively that Joe has written for us and that Steven has guided us to.
Secondly, it’s been how as a straight man I can effectively tell the stories of these men. My process has been, first of all, to focus on the relationships that these characters are involved in, combined with that essential ingredient for us as actors, my imagination. I’ve also researched aspects of gay lifestyle and community, met up with friends and had some wonderful discussions about their experiences and I’m so grateful for their honesty and willingness to discuss their lives.
What can audiences expect?
A show that is; warm, funny, exciting, entertaining, sad and ultimately life enhancing. Grab a ticket and come on down…. now!
F***ing Men is now playing at Waterloo East Theatre until May 22. Tickets: https://www.waterlooeast.co.uk/fmen-2025
Top image: Rob Alexander-Adams. Credit: Michaela Walshe (supplied)